i am alone today...after many days..i don't like being lonely but in many ways its so very important for me..i spent time thinking about the changes coming around me which are so very evident but somehow i have failed to notice them for so long...
Anyways yesterday i attended a 25Th anniversary of a very dear aunt and uncle..there was so much love shared in that single night..the bygone 25 yrs were somehow relived...it just made a strange impression on me..or perhaps it helped me recognize so many thoughts that havn't been deciphered earlier...life is a big big circle...as you live through each day you weave a new memory..you learn a new thing..u laugh..u cry..u try different flavour of the ever changing life...these words so frequently read,so frequently seen but felt in some rare moments!!!
..but these days i have been doing nothing but creating a mess of people, of things that i should so cherish..i had been constantly fighting with one friend,i have been so out of touch with other..the only reason they are so far away from India!!then my other friends i kept on thinking they all are very busy and so i made myself more busy then them and while meeting them i had my shield around me!!(not a good defence mechanism here)...then i had been feeling emotionally so far away from my family so much so..that when we all were together,i somehow failed to be happy from within when everyone was laughing....i had been dreading in many ways about going back to college to be away from gossips and bad limelight there...and biggest thing while at home i got chances to connect to so many people together i somehow failed to balance the timings..i failed to realise their importance wen i had been with them because of my preconceived concepts of everyone going on different tracks in their own world...don't know whether i had been sad about being so far away from my old buddies or i had been angry about it...or more aptly had i been frustrated about not knowing them as i did before?..in short i had gone berserk and created nuisance of nothing...complicated matters for myself...
...now wen today no one is there i feel strange and without reason i feel happy too..surprisingly. god at times leave u lonely n at times keeps so many people around..anyhow its like a gr8 conflict is over..i am glad of at least having had the chance to meet everyone up..of knowing about them a little more..and yes knowing myself more too ..so the moral of the story is..there is so much to be valued..so if god has left me alone for one day its for me to resolve the hassled up issues in my devil mind....so Rashika learn to acknowledge the dear love around you!!!!
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